'NOUGH SAID

This week in motherhood

Hannah : "Mom, your tummy looks fat!"

Me (the mom): "Hannah it's not nice to say that to people"

Hannah: "sorry. your tummy looks pregnant."

Me: thanks, that was much better. (turn, and to myself: "it matters what's on the inside, it matters what's on the inside... sniff sniff) darn those kids telling the truth

I'll keep that one tucked away in my pocket to make her laugh when she's just had her third child (i say just as if 8 months is not enough time to loose the baby weight- sigh -it's the "elasticity" though right...that just takes longer and longer with each child. someone please validate my flabby flubby belly. double sigh...)

good thing i didn't have my "daisy duke" shorts on too. that would have been brutal. (no it's not me in the pic , but close...)

NEXT

Lincoln (during his nighttime prayers):blah blah blah... " and mommy's awesome, and Hannah's awesome, and daddy and Lucy are awesome...and I'm awesome...and I can be like Jesus, so we can say the thankthul...amen-seriously awesome

But the ultimate was when I was driving my friends kid Caleb to school this week. We always drive by a cemetery and Hannah was talking about the "grove", and then...

Caleb says: " is that the funeral place?"
Hannah: no
Caleb: "If my mom dies when I am a teenager I'm going to take her skin off and put it in a museum."
Me: "in a museum?"
Caleb: "yea and then I would get a shovel and put it buy her so she can look like one of those people who dig for dinosaurs."
Me: nice

Then when the kids got out of the car, I immediately called his mom and said- just so you know, when you die-Caleb is going to have you taxidermied into a archaeologist...ya know...just so you can be ready for that.

Serious

For the Love...

I, Randi, am in love love love with... Kettle Corn. That's right Kettle Corn. All that hype for Kettle Corn you say? Oh yes. Oh very yes.

The ultimate is straight off the street across from the Diamondbacks baseball game. And you have to get the 8 month size. That is the "8 month old child size" as shown here . It's big, it's very very big. For my love of Kettle Corn, my dear hubby even lead our whole family all the way around the huge stadium to the side they sell it on. That my friends is love, true love, when you consider it was still 105 degrees outside, and we had all three children in tow. love.

We had a great time at the game. Here are a few pics...

Go D-Backs!

the end.

and no i didn't eat it all by myself...

May I have a word please?

I'd like to talk about words. Favorite words that is.


We all have 'em. We all have that special little somthin' tucked away in back of our minds just waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. In other cases- anxiously hanging on the tip of our tongue for just the right moment to perfectly cap off a sentence, rant, or conversation.


One of my favs is the word seriously. Here, I'll show you why.

Seriously.
It stands alone. One magic word can give some serious meaning to a situation.
Seriously. It's versatility is amazing. It alone can be used in answer to, or at the end of any of the following sentences:
Please leave Lucy alone. She is not a doll. seriously. (here seriously is used in an exasperated tone denoting exasperation because you have been saying it all day long)
Did you know Michael Phelps is supposed to earn 100 million dollars in his lifetime from endorsements and speaking gigs? seriously!? (here it is used to denote surprise and unbelief)
Lucy you are the happiest girl ever. seriously (this is used in a high-pitched happy voice to denote love and awe at her cuteness)
Lincoln wet his bed on the second night of wearing underwear to bed. (this of course after 6 months of pull-ups and not an accident in sight or smell.) seriously? used here to denote sadness, unbelief and unluckiness
I find it is the perfect ending to pretty much every sentence of any conversation. You should try it. Seriously.
I also tremendously enjoy the phrase..."and the such as". This obviously made famous by the lovely Miss Teen South Carolina. For a recap go here. It's still so funny every time. I will forever be grateful to her English teacher, and the such as, for helping to create this beautiful grouping of words. It really just fits anywhere, the perfect additive to any conversation. like...

"I have to go to the store to get milk, bread, eggs and the such as..."
"Petes not feeling so good today... nausea, vomiting and the such as..."
"I have to go the gyno for that yearly checkup, and the such as..."


See it's perfect. seriously.

The Hypocrisy of Me

In my meager attempt to help my children be responsible, healthy, happy people-we have some guidelines in our home. I'm sure they are much the same as yours. The bad thing is that I usually find myself (in my "stuck in my own bad habits" kinda way) doing pretty much the exact opposite. Here are a few examples...

"No you can't have leftover cake for breakfast", "or pizza, brownies, ice cream, cookies etc."-and then I do (behind their backs of course)

"Your room has to be clean before you can do anything fun"-I do fun things whenever I can, and my room is usually not clean

Don't throw your clothes on the floor-guilty

No more snacking because you won't want any dinner-I have been known to eat a little something right before dinner...

No whining-I know I whined as a kid. but i'm sure I never do it anymore...

I think you need a time-out-i think i need a time-out

No you can't stay up late-you'll be grumpy tomorrow-hypocrisy at its best

Calling all hypocrites: beat that

Mother of the Year

I just had to share with you what I made my kids for dinner last night. Peder and I were going out and I was beyond ready to leave. So I just whipped up this little thing I like to call...

"ghetto dinner al a carte"

Here it is in all it's culinary glory.

You may be saying "is that Ramen noodles and mandarin oranges, in the can ?"

why yes, yes it is. Now you might be saying "what the heck kinda dinner is that?"

well obviously it was in honor of the Beijing Olympics-

CHINESE noodles and MANDARIN oranges

it doesn't get any more Chinese than that I say.

When they sat down to eat I just had to laugh at myself and say "really, you really just fed your kids ramen and mandarin oranges in the can for dinner?"

and then I said to myself, "good job...at least it wasn't just ramen."

The power of 4

I can't believe it...my first TAG. I feel so grown-up. Here goes.

Four places I've lived

1. Standin' on the corner in "Winslow Arizona"

2.Provo Utah-for like 3 seconds

3. Directly across from the Mesa AZ Temple

4.In 116 degrees (a.k.a. Mesa AZ)


Four favorite movies

1. I have always LOVED "Robin Hood-prince of Thieves". Kevin Costner (back in the day)...People trying not to love eachother...sword fighting...castles...men in leggings-heehee

2.The Notebook-all out romanticality (oh it's a word)

3. Mary Poppins-"it's ssshhooo emarassssing!"

4. if I have to pick 1 more I'll say Ever After even though i super don't like Drew Barrymore it goes along nicely with my favorite Disney princess movie- Cinderella


Four Favorite Books
1.Twilight saga-if you like teenage vampire love


2.Kindom and the Crown Series-phenominal-if you like the life of Jesus


3.Fire of the Covenant-if you appreciate your pioneer ansestors


4.The Thirteenth Tale, Traitor, Gable Faces East, Eat Love Pray...if you like romantical, mysterious, life changing stuff


Four embarassing facts about me

1. I hit a flying bird while driving

2. I hit a dog while driving

3. I hit a guy on a bike while driving-he was fine...just a little shaken up, he said it happens "all the time" yaaooo!

4. I dance in my head while I'm driving-and i look exactly like the girls on "so you think you can dance"


Four dreams of mine

1. To do something to change the world-in a good way

2. Having one of those "video segments" on Oprah about how I changed the world from my own living room without even really trying hard, and then how I lost 40 pounds in like one week by eating chocolate truffles and chips and salsa. simply amazing.

3. To be a pastry chef and win one of those Food Network Chocolate Challenges by making something like this-mmmmmmm


4.To serve a Humanitaian mission with my hubby- he chooses Africa, i'm pretty sure they need humantiy there


Four pet peeves
1. when I go to get a drink and the water pitcher is...empty!!yeah, you know who you are

2. nice, lovely, clean, folded laundry that just gets piled up and thrown in the corner of the room. seriously. why.

3. teasing.stop.now.can't.take.it.
4. trying to leave the house with 3 children, i'm crazy just thinking about it. enough said
Four things that make me really happy

1. baking delicious treats for people to enjoy- including but not to limited to: chocolate truffles and chips and salsa
2. hearing my kids laugh really hard

3. when my husband rubs my arm or plays with my hair-oooooooooo

4.lunch with my girl friends or dinner, dessert, bruch,baby showers, bookclubs, slumber parties, birthday parties, pity parties...pretty much anything with food and girl friends!

Tag...you're it! if you are not up for playing let me know.
1. Leah
2. Paige
3. Becky
4. Alyn

While the kids are away...the mommy will play

Things I did while my older kids were at their Nana and Papa's

• went to lunch with my hubby-luv u
• went to dinner with my hubby-super luv u
• went to dinner again with my hubby-we had a gift card ok!
• slept until a normal time in the morning
• took a nap
• played with Lucy
• exercised
• read a book
• cleaned out Lincoln's room
• half way cleaned out the storage shed-i was slightly productive sheesh
• took back not even joking 15 items to walmart- let me just say... people were not happy to be behind me here.

Things I did NOT DO while my kids were at their Nana and Papa's

• cook dinner (yes for 3 days, it was delightful)
• have my son poop his pants in the shoe department at walmart-yes he really did last week...yes over a year after he was potty trained. what's up with that?
• have my son poop his pants on the way to the toilet at home-it was a rough week
• take anyone to the bathroom in the middle of the night
• break-up any fights-home can be a heaven on earth...when your kids aren't home
• have stress-yes seriously
• listen to any whining-glorious, simply glorious
• threaten anyone with time-outs if they don't hurry up and clean their rooms
• give anyone time-outs because they made their room even more of a disaster and then "accidentally" pushed their brother down and made him cry
• say over 134 times a day to "put Lucy down, she's fine and does not need your help right now" or my favorite " get off of Lucy you cannot lay on top of her"always in the most loving manner of course

wheww! i'm tired just thinking about what i didn't do. good grief! we moms are amazing.

I'd like to thank Academy (a.k.a. Nana and Papa) for making this all possible - I couldn't have done it without you.

I wish you all a vacation from your children because even though we love them to pieces, the really great things about being a mom come with some not so great things about being a mom-hence the title "the facts of life" (play the song in your head here). Sometimes we just need a day off...or 3. And no feeling guilty either! OK I'm done now.

Other People are Funny

Looking for something funny, clever and Mormony? Try THIS and then part two with THIS.
thanks kristen for the link! so funny!

THE JOKER

I LOVE...

talking to my hubby on the phone-pretty much all day long

when I accidentally transpose 2 #'s and end up talking to the real life JOKER...

not so much.

It went something like this...

ME: "hey honey, can you do a favor for my mom while you are out?"

JOKER: "like what?"

ME: "why are you talking like that? you sound like the JOKER!"

JOKER: "what does she need?"

ME: "seriously, stop talking like that-it's creeping me out!"

ME: "She needs you to go to Deseret Book and pick up some posters for a missionary open house. Or if they don't have posters, you could get some Article of Faith cards or something. She said you could call her if you need to. "

JOKER: (in his creepy JOKER voice) "I think what you should do is hang up the phone (my hearts starts pounding here) and check the number you are trying to dial"...before i come over there and slit your mouth open and put scary makeup on your face to make you look like me.

ok maybe not exactly that last part, but something close

ME:: uh, sorry. click.

This is were I really called my husband and told him to hurry home because as we speak, the JOKER is tracking our home number and is going to show up at our door with a clown mask on and kill us all.

true story.

and yes i am scarred for life.