Hypothetically speaking...

I pretty much hate ironing. I haven't always...just since I got married. hmmm? I actually remember ironing when i was way younger and day dreaming about being married and ironing my wonderful, hardworking hubbies shirts so that he could bound out of the house in the morning with a freshly pressed shirt on, to go take on the world and feel the love of his wife wrapped crisply around him all day...k, maybe not quite that dramatic, but you get the idea...

These days that little chore seems more like a nightmare to me. I refuse to name any names, but lets just say hypothetically that pretty much every time I am asked to iron...it's like 10pm at night. Now hypothetically it may appear that I'm really not doing much. Maybe just checking my email, reading a book, getting ready for bed or the such as...but I am in the bless-ed "down time" of the day,which i try to drag out for as long as possible every night, where I don't want to do anything for anyone else but myself because I have been making the world turn for all the really short people in the house all day long. hypothetically.

So would it really be shocking that I would moan and groan and possibly throw you a dirty look when asked to iron during my "down time"?

Hypothetically this could become a sore spot in a marriage. A bruise of sorts- on an otherwise very unbruised body.

Hypothetically I could have been raised in a house where one of my dad's famous saying was "are your arms broken?" or legs depending on the task at hand. It is really one of my favorite sayings. But hypothetically this could cause discord in the home if it were used in answer to "will you iron me a shirt?" Because said in the wrong way it carries a hidden undertone also meaning... "what's wrong with you? get off the couch and do it yourself. Why should I have to iron YOUR shirt while you just sit there...are your arms broken?".

But hypothetically the person asking for the ironing of his shirt, dislikes ironing almost as much as you, and really just doesn't want to do it either. But he needs an ironed shirt so he can bound out of the house and take on the world. So he can care for his cute little family and make enough extra money so his wife can play on her city-league volleyball team, and his daughter can take piano lessons. Oh if only he could count on the support of his super awesomely capable-of-anything wife, and didn't have to worry about the ironing of his shirt.

So after much trial and tribulation, the hypothetical husband might not ask his hypothetical wife to iron his shirts very often. He'd even start doing it more himself or just spraying it with water and giving it a shake. And his hypothetical wife might try to repress her hatred for ironing at 10:30 pm and remember how much she loves him and all he does, instead of remembering how much she hates her squeaky ironing board and her 15 year old iron. Hypothetically this has made life much nicer for all the hypotheticals involved.

Hypothetically speaking.

"Tagged" in High School

There are like 20 questions...sorry, bear with me.

Did you date someone from your school? Well being that I grew up in a small town where there is only ONE High School, the answer would be yes.

What kind of car did you drive? Big Bertha was her name, and mud bogging was her game. She was a white Grand Marquis- like this but without the "cool' tires. It had a steering problem so every time I turned the corner into the school parking lot, it made the hugest/loudest whining sound for all to hear in a three block radius. Eventually I just embraced it. We had a lot of fun with that car. After I left home, my parents found out the "shocks" were shot. hmmm? I don't know how that could have happened?? =)

What was the most embarrassing moment of high school? I honestly can't remember one. Not that I didn't have multiple, i must have just blocked them from my memory.

Were you a party animal? define party animal? Did I go out with friends and even to "parties" yes, did I "eat, drink and be merry" and the such as...no.

Were you a flirt? uh, yes, yes I was. I believe that would go undisputed.

Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? negative. But I like watching American Idol. Does that count?

Were you a nerd? Double negative. I was an B-A student with an occasional C thrown in for good measure.

Were you on any Varsity Teams? Varsity Softball-junior/senior, Varsity Cheer -soph/jun/sen. And yes, you do get to Letter for Cheer. I don't know about the cheerleaders in your schools, but we were super cool that's what i continue to tell myself anyway and not slutty...well with a few exceptions I suppose.

Did you get suspended/expelled? Unfortunately the closest I got was like a "time-out" room in the office. We had a substitute one day in our Spanish class- Mr. Ruby who later had a severe mid-life crisis for all to see. So me and another girl decided to "hang out" for a bit-not in the classroom. Apparently Mr. Ruby hadn't left the campus yet, he spotted us and turned us in. lame.

Can you still sing the fight song? Comin' right up. Did you want that with or without the cheer moves? Cause I'll bust it out right now. "We are the Bulldogs, we are the Best..."

Who were your favorite teachers? The more important question-and better story- is which of your teachers liked you? It goes something like this...Mr. G. was known for years of being extra nice to the girls in the school. It dates back to my Aunties days at Winslow High School. We were friends, whatever that means, and on the last day of school he told me to come to his class, that he had something for me. Well I went and he gave me a card, and when I was leaving the classroom he said- "hey you were in my dream last night" me: oh really? " yea, I kissed you" me: oh really? Ha Ha. In a freaked out kinda laugh of course

I leave, and the inscription in the card says something about "dreams coming true". Ya know like... "hey you just graduated and hopefully all your dreams come true...or, I just told you I kissed you in my dream and then slipped you a note about dreams coming true. Whichever. Scan-dal! You'd be surprised how many scandals one little high school can produce. insane.

What was your school's full name? Winslow High School. what up.

School mascot? The Fighting Bulldogs-maroon and gold!

Did you go to Homecoming and with who? Junior year- Ryan Hatch. And for dinner he had his dad fly us and Ryan's brother and sister-in-law who happens to also be my aunt-it's a small town =) down to Phoenix in his airplane. It was super exciting. Unfortunately I pretty much slept on his shoulder the whole way both trips because I was SO tired from Homecoming week...sorry i really couldn't help it . But it was a cool thing to do none the less, I just wasn't the best date ever. do you remember that virginia?

Senior year- Andrew Scott. And somewhere I picked up this shiny silver dress that was a little short, so I wore black and white small checkered tights underneath????what the? shaking my head and narrowing my eyebrows. oh the 90's!

If you could go back and do it again, would you? I used to think so, if I was like older and wiser and stuff, but then I remembered...that's called college.

What do you remember most about graduation? The parents always threw a huge, great party on the baseball fields by the school. super fun.

Have you gained some weight since then? uh...have you seen my picture here?

Who was your prom date? Junior year- Keith Hardy but I may or may not have also gotten pictures with another guy that I liked and later "dated". In my "may or may not have" defense... Keith asked me like 3 months before prom and and that is a long time in the life of a 17 year old. It's not my proudest memory. Sorry again Keith. Senior year-Ray Henling, who interestingly enough my cousin and I bounced back and forth as a boyfriend that year. No harm done! =) luv ya rachel!

Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? already did...yes i'm that old, sniff sniff. It was actually really really fun!

Looking back, what advice would you give yourself? Pay attention more. I was seriously the reigning Miss Naive/Oblivious! I still find out things people were doing in High School and say... (bug eyed) REALLY?? I had no clue.

I TAG: Emily, Alyn, Kristyn, Sarah, Marni, Leah, Paige, Caroline, Becca, Kara and anyone else who wants something to blog about!

My Lovelies

Miss Hannah has been feeling a little left out the last few days (since her little sis has had fevers from teething the last 4 days!and wouldn't let me put her down). So today we took the opportunity to spend some one on one time. Her choice was to make and decorate cupcakes...which is exactly what I was hoping for since I'm trying to eat good (good as in diet-ee, not good as in cupcake-ee)

We had a great time. She had sooo many ideas for decorating them, including but not limited to the ones shown here. I personally enjoyed the "waterfall with flower gardens on the side". Just remember that "more is always better" with a 5 year old, and "as much as you can pile on" is BEST! I think they turned out really cute. Maybe the next Julia Child??? And if you can't decorate your own hand with frosting when your five, then when can you?

On to the next child...I love the prayers of a 3 year old. Here is the latest...

...blah blah blah (me not him) Lucy's funny and she's my sister, and Hannah's my sister and mommy...pause, I'm daddy's boy cause that's what he said...and I want to be a pirate for Halloween like this AARRGH! yes he really said aarrgh! ...and I like trains...and cars...they're really cool... and frogs...they are cool too...

all with the utmost sincerity of course.

love it. seriously.

And last but not least, could this possibly be the cutest girl ever? So, I might be a tinge bit biased. what you wanna fight about it? cause i'll go right now...

Yippee-kay-yay!

So, my dear friend Emily honored me with an actual "blog award". My firstest ever. Thanks Em. So fun. Emily and I go back to the days livin' in the Mesa Ghetto. She is a great person who has gone through it all and lives to tell about it. She even choreographed a little dance for some of us moms to do a at ward Talent Show, (and oh yes, i still have it on video! i'll have to look into uploading that!)She is the best. So thanks again for being my friend, and thinking that my blog is occasionally funny.

So I guess now I get to pass this along to 2 other bloggerific girls.

And the first one goes to...ANGE! My dear Ange and I became friends when she moved down here from Utah (holy crow!) like 10 years ago! We had tons of absolutely terrific times in our single days. We had matching camo pants and even shared a bad boyfriend (not at the same time of course). She is a great girl and even got to keep her same last name when she got married. That doesn't happen every day and you know how I feel about it. I love her blog because I love her wittiness and and her love of words. She is a great writer.

The second goes to...KRISTYN! We have only known each other a bit, but she is so great and has such a cute blog, lots of fun pictures! Plus she has the absolute mostest links to other blogs I have ever seen in my life! look

Now for you recipients of this award...

• display this award
• link back to the person who gave you the award
• nominate other blogs
• put links to those blogs on yours
• leave a message on the blogs of those you've nominated

Hooray for friends, blogs and my friends blogs!

"SAD GIRLS"

My husband and I are "cooking show" people. Which has absolutely nothing to do with this post except for how it got started. We were watching "Lydia's Italian" and she was wearing a particular-ly tight shirt that day. (not the one in the picture-this was the best i could find). I commented on what a bad bra she was wearing and my hubby said "yea, they look like torpedo's". (which you can kinda make out in this picture...the "girls" are pretty low and projecting forward...like...well...like a torpedo)Which got me remembering just how much I hate my bra right now and wondering how "torpedo-ish" I look.

First of, it's a nursing bra, which are obviously/notoriously the ugliest things ever... and they get uglier- the more comfortable they are. Secondly, it doesn't have any underwire, which in my case would highly benefit my silhouette. My "girls" need a little support in the form of a steel bar. But I read somewhere that underwire can promote mastitis (yeah, and if you linked to that- it's obviously a cow udder with mastitis, but what's the diff. really- right? i had to keep it" G" rated.), and I have had A LOT OF IT with my other kids(oowwee cabowee!) so I decide to go saggy and see what happened. which was highly beneficial if you wanted to know, and I know you did...

So I was wishing that my "girls" looked more like the "girls" on the right as apposed to the "girls" on the left, and then I found these...

and suddenly felt like a

SUPER BOOB MODEL.

The first girls "girls" above have obviously nursed her 4 children until they were each 5 years old. Which is a highly commendable task, but makes simply wearing a bra for the rest of your life a must. Please, do it for the children, if for no one else.

And if Tara Reid is not "Torpedo Woman" or "The Green Arrow" in that shirt, then I do not know what is. (that last part was said with some texas sass, a head shake and a finger snap... just so you can get it right in your head)

So for all you torpedo-ish women out there...it could be worse. A whole lot worse.

What's in a Name?

So when I married my wonderful hubby I took his last name of Kartchner.

That's K-A-R,...-T,...-C-H-N-E-R.

I will mention that I was quite attached (literally) to my maiden name, but apparently they kinda frown on not taking your hubby's last name. My maiden name was a nice lovely name that I never had to spell and rarely got mispronounced.

But alas, the rules are the rules.

It's not that I don't super love my hubby, or his Mormon Pioneer surname, it's just that when I get called

Mrs. Krachner, or Mrs. Krotchner

I have to cringe a little.

(seriously, as if someone's name would really be Krotchner. And if you thought that's what it was, wouldn't you take another look at it, just to make sure you are not calling someone a krotch mistakenly?)

Oh to be a Smith or Jones.

Except they all think their names are boring.

You just can't win I guess.

MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

Cuttin' back the calories like me?

Here's a little motivation to put down the cookie...

put it down.

dooowwn.

so sad. seriously

The Dijon Dilemma

So....when a blogger like myself has really nothing else to talk about at the moment, and then you come along and do something a little bit-shall we say "dumb", inevitably you are going to get hashed about on my blog. Sorry that's the risk you run.

It goes something like this:

It's date night in, so I order some take-out BBQ. Georgia Chopped Pork, a salad with honey-mustard dressing and the mashed potatoes. (which i have had before...exactly)

I go to pick it up and they show me the food and I say:

"is that the honey mustard dressing, it looks kinda dark" like a tub of brown gravy actually

"This is the dressing that comes with the Sassy Salad"

"oh, but I just got the Side Salad, and I wanted honey mustard"

"well this is the Honey BBQ that comes with the Sassy Salad"

"yea, but remember I didn't order the Sassy Salad, I just wanted a Side Salad" i know it can be tricky because we're throwin' around So many S's, it juSt getS So Stinkin' confuSSing SometimeS. Sorry

"Well we don't have Honey Mustard,...we have Honey BBQ, or Honey DIJON..."

"Honey Dijon you say, yes, yes, that would be the one. Honey Dijon is the one I want." see that's really tricky because Dijon is the French word for mustard and the such as, so here in THE AMERICA, if I say Honey Mustard, it's exactly the same as Honey DIJON, isn't that cool?.

did i really just have this conversation?

Thanks for giving me something to blog about.
P.S. crack kills.

just kidding, i know i have given people plenty to blog about, and i do crack very rarely anymore...!

My sister had something similar happen to her at Whataburger, for that you can go here.